Childhood experiences might put you on a path of negativity, self love is the key to break the pattern
- Renee Singh: Most of us invest a lot of time in suppressing our emotions that leads to stress. Our behaviour patterns get designed pretty much at an early age. Beliefs which we acquire during our childhood days last forever. For instance, if right from our prime in our childhood we have conditioned our minds to believe life is tough then it does seem to be like this our whole lives.
- Stress patterns: We create these patterns in our lives through low self esteem. When parents have been comparing children with each other then every action becomes a challenge. We need to constantly prove our self worth even to our own selves. People who live in constant self doubt live in fear.
- Struggle for approval: Acceptance is a very vital factor in the lives of people. It is social acceptability we are looking for and constant approval by people around us. It is just because they have never been fully accepted by the parents they are insecure, fearful and develop negative patterns of behaviour. We all have within us: 1. Critical parent, 2. Criticized child There is a constant battle between the two. We need to draw upon our wisest self so that we can come to terms with our own sparring personality.
- Break negative patterns: Visualise a loving companion who fulfils your every emotional need. Imagine this deeply caring person is touching you in a very reassuring way and is encouraging you by listening to your woes. You know they will always be there for you with love and emotional support any time you require it.
- Quieten the self critic: Childhood experiences sometimes tend to make us feel unlovable and inadequate. We make some negative tapes within us. There are repetitive negative suggestions which automatically take over the moment the trigger appears. We need to forgive ourselves, stop being critical of ourselves. Learn to let go of our negative belief system.
- Self love: We need self love as it is very nourishing, helps us thrive and grow stronger. We humans thrive in approval and wither in its absence. Mother and child is the closest bond. Smiles, care and approval for the child from the parent helps both parties to thrive.
- Self acceptance: It can be defined as the willingness to support, care for and appreciate the person you are. It is very vital to give love to yourself, 1. Think of your positive qualities, 2. Give yourself appreciation for a job well done, 3. Give yourself love: We need to convince our own selves that life can be very good. If we live our lives in an adequately balanced emotional state, it is very possible for us to be stress free and very happy. To step into a level of joy in our own lives we need to: 1. Value our own strengths and virtues, 2. Counter our tendency to put ourselves down, 3. Feed our self esteem with concrete positive statements.
- Express your emotions: Temporarily blocking emotions maybe all right but doing this for a long time isn't healthy. A lot of emotional tension builds up. Instead of making life a struggle for achievements and rewards we need to let go of chasing. Learning to enjoy is our key to happiness. (Singh is a Chandigarh-basedpsychotherapist). Source: http://www.tribuneindia.com/
